Good morning sun is beaming

Beautiful 💞 morning good friends are very hard to find. My experience they always..

Been looking for anything around me book club. Coffee mornings groups. It was actually my husbands idea and a great one to be honest Anything I need to make new friends ones I can call if I’ve had bad day or if I just want to chat or have a drink with while watching a chick flick haha I never really had that a feeling I can really trust they always seem to backstab me in some way. They get jealous of my relationship or my home life or something that’s not even relevant I’m not rich I don’t have alot and what I do have I’ve worked for me and my husband had nothing when we met I have alot of people I know work friends mainly school friends I still say hello to or how you doing but when it comes down to it. It’s just me. Sometimes not having some that connection is good because u don’t have to worry about upsetting anyone. But I would just love to have a friend who I could get a glass of wine 🍷 with enjoy our coffee and chat about whos had the worst day 😂. I’m 35 and lived my life so far the best I can I’ve respect and been a good friend I’m a good person just people always seem to leave me in the end so I gave up trying to find what some people take for granted. Maybe I’m just to awesome to have friends hah

Time for a change time isn’t on my side.

Think its time to change the way i live my life at the moment i am unwell sick with pain from the bulging disk i have at times its so painful i cant move and i get sent to hospital to have a dose of there powerful medication i find it hard to workout and have the strength to get through it i shouldn’t be feeling like this i am only 35 my dad who is 66 has more bounce than i have and hes not in the best of health i miss working i miss my social life i had a good network of friends but as i become more ill it all disappeared i was the one who loved my job but the job i do is not friendly to your body is its it tall now i feel like a change is needed healthy eating , and all that jazz i think the most painful for me to overcome is going to be the exercise oh and yeah give up the cigs . i dont really drink only when its like birthdays or wedding celebrations i did all that when i was younger drinking on student nights going out early coming home the next morning lol . yep i was a rebel me and my partner are trying to a have a child something ive wanted to give him since we got together i know thats all hes ever wanted we lost our first she or he would of been 9 and every since then my body just wont give us what we truly desire he says if he never happens he will love me no matter what and that makes him a very special soul , he has not give up hope hes got more strength than he knows he has hes put up with me for so long . anyway thats a diffrent story than im sure ill share with you all one day first thing is first , STOP eating JUNK food lol going to be hard as im a chocoholic and when im upset i comfort eat im sure alot of people have here sin foods lol. Wish me luck and ill keep you all up todate on whats going on i know ive got the push through the pain no matter what comes i need to have this CHANGE …

11th January 2019

I feel the need to out my words out maybe it will help maybe it wont but who knows maybe it will help me cope better with the loss i felt that day i want to tell you of how amazing he actually was i gave him so much love and he gave me so much more than i think he ever knew . lets go back to when i first met him i was working and came home from my job at the local bowling ally first person i saw was my partner he had the biggest smile on his face i thought aw how nice to see my partner waiting for me to come home . he said look who i found and on the couch there was this little black cat curled up in a ball my first thought was wow how Beautiful . I fell in love instantly at first we thought he was a she and we named him mystique out of the xmen lol well after a couple days we soon realised that she was a he and we named him Sylvester .that night he slept on the sofa he never moved slept with so much peace like he had a rough time and he was glad of the peaceful sleep the next morning he was still there looking me like im hungry what you going to feed me human . looking so cute soon the years past he became my go to friend when i was sad he would push his head against mine letting me know that he was round and i shouldn’t be sad i was at that time going though something that know one should ever have to and thats for another time to tell . he came into my life at the lowest and kept me going he kept me alive over the years we became so attached where i was he was he soon became my best friend he would know when i was hurting or sad he just knew and that might sound crazy to some people but its true he made my life at more fun and showed me that he wasn’t just a cat . he wasn’t normal size cat he was a big lad not a fatty more stocky in the right places he became so attached he would sleep night to me every night and i got to the point where he wouldn’t sleep any where else and if he wasn’t beside me he was above me like he was watching over me He became really protective over me i know not many people love cats and think that Cats are evil and cant get attached or cant love then all i can say is im sorry you didnt meet Sylvester . He was a real character after 10years of love and devotion on the 11th January He fell asleep in my arms . I personally dont think ill ever get over him i still cry seeing a picture or even saying his name it been 4 months and its not getting any easier good BYE sylvester and thank you xx