what a emotional day so far

very upset feeling alot of unwanted emotions 

😦 had my welfare meeting at work today to talk about my occupational health report ive been off sick for about 7 months going through a lot of appointments with the musculoskeletal clinic and still on going also awaiting for a scan . the out come of the meeting was clear that i am at the moment unfit for work due to my condition dont really want to go into to much detail on my Condition but i am heartbroken, i do want to say im gonna miss all my friends ive worked with over the time ive been there i wish you all the very best thanks for all your support heres to getter better xxx

How my occupational health appointment went yesterday.

Well I had the worst experience yesterday went to a lovely doctor specialist arranged through my work place I am a health carer and have been for more than 10 years. I have been off sick due to a bulging disk for about seven months went to see the works specialist see if I’m fit for work again. He looked at me and said I’m really very sorry but your not fit for any work your back is in extreme pain and the pressure your putting your body under is extremely overwhelming he felt a long my spine and could feel all the lumps along it he asked me how my health in general is without the pain I told him I’m forget full don’t sleep much due to the pain nerves I’m feeling some days I need help just getting out of bed. He sat me down and look at me with so much heartfelt I’m really sorry Mrs Davies but your can’t ever work in the Job you love again if fact I don’t know of your physical well being will benefit from ever Woking I can’t express how much I’m heartbroken my working life has just flipped up side down the doctor told me to take early retirement. I’m 35 I should be at my prime in working life I’ve worked all my life this is the first time I’ve not worked. It really does upset me I have no idea what I can do now, put all my energy into writing that book I always wanted. Will anyone read it haha. Or do I do a home project and see if I can make some income with my art. At this moment I’m just heartbroken it’s like I have to find myself all over again. I really loved my job